Friday, May 21, 2010

Thimbleberries

     I took it upon myself to hike while we were in Hawaii, because it's an activity that all teenagers full of life like myself can aspire to and enjoy. What's cooler than saying you hiked the "Powerline" trail? Saying you hiked 2 1/2 miles of the "Powerline" trail and turned back because you didn't know how far it went, only to find out it went a syndrome-inducing 10 miles to the other side of the island. Thank God I didn't look for the pot of gold at the end of that rainbow.
Plumeria Cutting - Sweet Red Color Flower From Nubucks     The ultra-whiteness of my body that rivaled Edward Cullen is no more. I took care of that in one fell swoop of laying out in full UV-A and UV-B glory yesterday for a solid 20 minutes, minus sunscreen mind you. Take that albinism. So my dad has a major...hankering, for this flower called a plumeria (See -->)
He's got such a fancy for these things, I'm beginning to wonder why on earth he married my mom. For God's snakes, he called them "my plumeria". Now, his flavor of the flower usually comes in a white version with a yellow inside, but that's not saying he's elitist or anything. So this obsession got a little ridiculous, so I made a...sexual reference, if you will (and you will), to whenever he smelled those things. Needless to say, he wasn't having any of it, while indeed, he was having all of the whiffs of plumeria he could possibly muster out of two nostrils. I took it upon myself to invent a "power-smelling" method so as to increase the potential smell capacity of each whiff. Therefore, I took two "plumerii" (is that even possible to make it plural like that?) and entranced them each near my Plumeria-deprived nostrils, and inhaled. Needless to say, it was more electrifying than an episode of dog whisperer.
     We toured a coffee plantation yesterday. Yes, plantation. We took the 1/8 mile, approximately 20 minute (important plot elements here!) walking tour, and learned all about how the soul-sucking liquid is made! Did you know that the coffee bean is actually a seed of a small cherry-like fruit? They have to open it and scrape out all of the mush and sould of the fruit to get to that little heartless seed that "adults" seem to have a throbbing "love" for. Also, they said that back in the day, some time ago, there was a melting pot of people that came to the island to work the sugar cane fields (which are now the coffee fields). Right, like those people came to the island all jolly and ready to work the fields, which the tour described as "laborious and tiring work". That's an interesting way to describe an enslaved group of people. Sounds like a big party (not really). In this way, the beans are also a "melting pot" because they're all mixed up together, so you get all kinds of heritage from those beans! Man, what cultural richness! And all from coffee! They also had free little samples afterward, all in those legit containers that you pump down on, just like you metaphorically pump your soul out of your body after every sip. That stuff, needless to say, was delicious, given enough sugar and creamer of course.
     That's about all of the wisdom and wisecrackery I have for now. It's time to hit up the breakfast buffet! Someone's gotta fight for obesity, he always seems to be the underdog!

1 comment:

empeter23 said...

You make me laugh. I'm glad you do this. You should write your memoirs.