Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Dog Days of Summer

We put the dog down today. It's amazing that someone could miss something that so frequently and delicately placed butt nuggets so tenderly around the house almost daily could be missed, but the joy he brought everyone in the family far outweighed those small trifles of trouble.
     The shadowing has been going well. There was a casting session this week where we learned how to put on casts, and afterward it looked like the remains of a zombie movie, with blue arms and legs strewn everywhere. Quite the sight to see.
     Next week the family is traversing to Branson, MO. If there is anything exciting or worth doing there, I'd like to know, because I've been trying to hunt it out for quite some time now, and still haven't been able to locate it.

Friday, July 16, 2010

The count of the 8-ball digital egg.

     The title was an incomprehensible jumble of thoughts that have been rambling around in my brain for the past several seconds. Quite a lengthy amount of time if you ask me. Do you ever get those grand feelings of becoming a great and learned scholar, whose book repertoire extends farther than one can throw a frisbee? Me too, so that's why I decided to start off this grand collection of knowledge with a book called The Count of Monte Cristo (Penguin Classics). Let me tell you, I almost didn't make it through the introduction, which was at least 15 pages. Kind of off-putting if you ask me, but I guess they figure they can do that if they've got you locked into a 1200 page book. They're just sitting around the table saying, "What the heck, why don't we go for the Pulitzer in writing introductions? I'm sure if it isn't a category, it will be after this intro!" Those meddling kids.
     I'm going to attempt a grand facelift of sorts today, I'm going to restore the patchwork that is our yard to its former glory. Well, it didn't really have a former glory of sorts, it was always in quite a shoddy condition. I guess hitting golf balls everyday for some 5 solid years does indeed have detrimental effects, and not the contrary, which is what I presumed, because every time I traversed to the golf course and hit several divots, the grass seemed to magically get better! Or could that have just been some actual funding taking place? Who knows, I digress.
     My shadowing has been going quite splendid in the realm of doctor-hood. I've seen some interesting cases and had the pleasure of seeing how this great process of healthcare unfolds. One thing I must say however, is that it seems like every person and their second cousin believes that everything can magically be solved by some sort of pain pill. This is indeed, not the case! Maybe, just maybe, if one were to remove one's self from a strategic position in front of the television and engage in such activities outside that one so passionately devotes time to watching inside, something could come of it! Preposterous to think, I know, but it just might WORK! Get out there people, and save yourself... FROM YOURSELF!!! (Insert dark and ominous music here).
     Another thing. Why must people find it necessary to procure such hideous grammar in the realm of the Internets, and more importantly, Facebook? It seems like a rampant brothel of bad sentences, where possessives and punctuation went on strike, and correct usage and spelling both committed suicide, but not before flipping the bird to The Penguin Handbook (MLA Update) (Paperbound)! It's an art, I'd say, to be that stupid when posting things that all the world can see. I've posted some examples on my status in recent times, and look for more examples as I uncover them. Well, there's not much to uncover, they are pretty blatantly revolting. I hope all is well in your life, for to wish harm upon you would obviously mean a riot with upwards of 10 people!
Picture Above: The normal flow of grammar on top,
Facebook's usual grammar flow on bottom. 
Note: Sad Face at end of Facebook flow.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I don't even know what to think anymore.

I work for a week and a half staining a deck, suffering multiple injuries to my ego, coming out just shy of a quarter g, and a friend tells me he's made 300 skinny jeans laying carpet in one day. What kind of society is this?! I certainly don't know.
     I still want to hear feedback on my seemingly philosophical question: What if parents/society put as much emphasis on learning as they did on sports? Hit me up in the comments to get your insight.
     So for the past month or so I've been wielding the HTC Evo 4G. For those of you not in the know, it's pretty much the biggest geek porn known to mankind. It's the iPhone for cool people, those who aren't hipsters. This bad boy is awesome, but it has yet to accomplish the one thing I unleashed it to do: pick up chicks. Just goes to show you that women won't rush to devoid their bodies of clothing at the sight of German Engineering, or will they? Makes me rather just avoid the whole thing and win them over with my amazingly good looks. Oh, wait, the 50 pounds of pasta I had for dinner have something to say about that.
     What are all of my awesome readers up to? Let me know, give me a sign that my life isn't completely worthless, or is it?

You have her snout.

So for the past week and a half, my next handyman job has ensconced the throes of everyday life for me. I have absolutely no idea whether that actually made any sense, I've been staining a wraparound deck for the past fortnight. It has been sucking the life-force  out of my labor-driven soul, and leaving me as nothing more than an obese-wielding soul.
     Speaking of China, I biked out to Kanopolis the other day, which is about 20 excruciating miles out of the way of my home, which is where I was trying to get to after visiting the local Doll-collectors anonymous meeting. Needless to say, when I stopped in at the local "Trading Post" to refill on some old-fashioned Gatorade, the cashier's mouth dropped to oblivion. I guess it's quite a sight to see a fat man make it somewhere over 10 miles by not using some form of motorized transportation! What a revelation! Needless to say, I'm not too sure how much "trading" went on at that place. It seems to me that the only thing the cashiers wanted was cold hard cash, which doesn't give you much wiggle room for bartering. At least in Mexico they'll take a lock of my hair as legal tender. All discourse aside, I submitted the "Trading Post" to the Better Business Bureau for false advertising, as well as shattered dreams.
     Recently I've been shadowing doctors to learn why and how our healthcare, which is indeed the greatest in America, is so awesome. It's been quite an experience. I would divulge, but under the Hippo Act, I'm not allowed to tell you that one child had quite an abnormal growth sticking up from its shoulders. My doc told me it was some sort of "head", whatever that is, but I'm not convinced.
     That's all for now, I'll keep you all in the know more and more, because you guys are my life! Duh!