Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Cyclic AMP


Lord Jesus, thank ye for bringing thy grace down upon my befallen mother. I know she hath taken a near eternity to relinquish two destitute computers from her grasp, and commit them to the world of IT where they can be made knew. Forgive her, for it is not her fault for straying off of the path of silicon. Bless her, bless those two macs, and forgive us our viruses.
In regular people's speak, my mom finally took our two shitty Macbook Pros in to get their power ports replaced! Ooh, sounds dirty don't you think? I'll write her a virus (wink face).
The past week or two, we've been enjoying the spoils of the projector I took from home, and viewing a picture show out on the front lawn every thursday eventide (my word for evening). I'm getting bold this week, ditching the inhaler, and going over to invite Kappa Sorority house to our mundane event. Sure, it doesn't have mass quantities of alcohol or smoking hot men decked out in douche capes (See picture below)


Joel McHale art a genius in coining that term.
But at least we are kind, genuine, and sincere, and have just as equal intentions as all of those "bros" but just not in such an obvious way. I mean, if I were a smoking hot sorority girl, why wouldn't I want to come to an event with a poster as fucking sweet as this:
I rest my case. For all of you out there wondering who I could possibly referring to as "we", how a person so utterly weird could possibly contrive friendships, I reply that I live in a scholarship hall. I equate it to a frat, but we're just not douchebags. Pretty cool, right? Even more, I live in the coolest of the Schol Halls, so that kind of makes us king of the nerds or something. All hail the motherboard!





Enough of this debauchery. I found out yesterday that I am going to Hawaii in two weeks! I was also less than a millisecond later reminded that I am in nowhere near the shape that I want to be for this grand adventure. Does anyone know of a crash course to lose 30 pounds in two weeks? Has anyone tried dying for a short while and then coming back to life? I wonder if that would produce more weight loss than just exercising. I should probably make a pro/ cons list:
Pro: Lose weight, be like Jesus
Con: Dead, slight chance I might not be the second coming of Jesus.

I'll have to weigh my options on that one. Anywho, I'm excited to go, to travel, to relax, and to be stuck on the most beautiful rock in the middle of nowhere.

My biology class that I should have been paying attention to is ending, guess my time is up for now.


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