Friday, July 16, 2010

The count of the 8-ball digital egg.

     The title was an incomprehensible jumble of thoughts that have been rambling around in my brain for the past several seconds. Quite a lengthy amount of time if you ask me. Do you ever get those grand feelings of becoming a great and learned scholar, whose book repertoire extends farther than one can throw a frisbee? Me too, so that's why I decided to start off this grand collection of knowledge with a book called The Count of Monte Cristo (Penguin Classics). Let me tell you, I almost didn't make it through the introduction, which was at least 15 pages. Kind of off-putting if you ask me, but I guess they figure they can do that if they've got you locked into a 1200 page book. They're just sitting around the table saying, "What the heck, why don't we go for the Pulitzer in writing introductions? I'm sure if it isn't a category, it will be after this intro!" Those meddling kids.
     I'm going to attempt a grand facelift of sorts today, I'm going to restore the patchwork that is our yard to its former glory. Well, it didn't really have a former glory of sorts, it was always in quite a shoddy condition. I guess hitting golf balls everyday for some 5 solid years does indeed have detrimental effects, and not the contrary, which is what I presumed, because every time I traversed to the golf course and hit several divots, the grass seemed to magically get better! Or could that have just been some actual funding taking place? Who knows, I digress.
     My shadowing has been going quite splendid in the realm of doctor-hood. I've seen some interesting cases and had the pleasure of seeing how this great process of healthcare unfolds. One thing I must say however, is that it seems like every person and their second cousin believes that everything can magically be solved by some sort of pain pill. This is indeed, not the case! Maybe, just maybe, if one were to remove one's self from a strategic position in front of the television and engage in such activities outside that one so passionately devotes time to watching inside, something could come of it! Preposterous to think, I know, but it just might WORK! Get out there people, and save yourself... FROM YOURSELF!!! (Insert dark and ominous music here).
     Another thing. Why must people find it necessary to procure such hideous grammar in the realm of the Internets, and more importantly, Facebook? It seems like a rampant brothel of bad sentences, where possessives and punctuation went on strike, and correct usage and spelling both committed suicide, but not before flipping the bird to The Penguin Handbook (MLA Update) (Paperbound)! It's an art, I'd say, to be that stupid when posting things that all the world can see. I've posted some examples on my status in recent times, and look for more examples as I uncover them. Well, there's not much to uncover, they are pretty blatantly revolting. I hope all is well in your life, for to wish harm upon you would obviously mean a riot with upwards of 10 people!
Picture Above: The normal flow of grammar on top,
Facebook's usual grammar flow on bottom. 
Note: Sad Face at end of Facebook flow.

2 comments:

Kevin Meyer said...

Hey there Mr. C!

Just wanted to give you a sign of life on your blog here. About the Count of Monte Cristo, I read that whilst my family and I were traversing this fair continent on our way to Wisconsin and back. I must say that, while long and at times, confusing, it is a fantastic book. I didn't even read the intro. Not sure the version I was reading had one.

Anywho, I think if parents put as much care into their kids' educations as they did into their sports activities, and cared as much about the quality of their teachers as the quality of their coaches, there would a much smaller concentration of under qualified teachers in our schools. These kids are the human infrastructure of tomorrow and less than 10% of them will probably be athletes.

Perhaps, and I say perhaps, children who show particular athletic ability before the age of 5 should be taken from their parents and sent to special training schools where they are only taught a specific sport. They are only taught to read in addition to their athletic training. They won't need math... well, not high math. They only need to be able to figure the difference in points of the score of a game. Then we would have some amazing athletes... and the rest of our kids would have better educations. Right?

I'm interested to hear your thoughts on the matter.

Hope you're havin a good summer nah suh.

Sara said...

You never cease to humor me.