Explain This

So I'd say I'm sorry for not updating all of the time, but I know you don't care. Who are you anyway? This is a little scary if you ask me, it's like a one way street here. You'd think the cyberhighway would at least have a few safety checkpoints or something. Guess not.
Today I cooked lunch. I not only single-handedly cooked lunch, but I made a MEAL. There's a difference  between lunch and a meal. A lunch consists of Ramen. A MEAL consists of bbq pulled pork and chicken, baked beans, lunch (a.k.a. dinner) rolls, fruit cocktail, tater wedges, iced tea, and Corn Nuggets! Corn nuggets, you might ask? To quote myself:
     ["What," you might be asking, "on God's green earth is a corn nugget?" Well, funny you'd ask, because believers and non-believers alike have agreed that upon the 8th day of Earth (4000 b.c.), God gave his only food, corn, and deemed that it be fried in the holiest of manners. This, my friends, resulted in a long and rich history of the Corn Nugget! A creamy, corny (no pun intended), center, wrapped with breaded golden love, and fried with so much love that it solved the Cold War crisis.]
This is all undisputed fact. This information has also not been up for more than 24 hours. That's something to consider in today's fast-paced world.
Today we had our Genetics test. If there has been one class this semester that has sucked away my soul, it has been Genetics. I love it once I understand it, however the process of understanding is quite lengthy. It's as if trying to cram a 4-course meal preparation into an hour. I mean come on, that's culinary suicide.
Speaking of ducks, several people have encouraged me to just become a chef. This sounds like a great idea, but I'm afraid I'd get too fat from all of the great stuff I'd eat. Not to be cocky or anything... But seriously...I'm off to bed for now, I'll try and make a better post later this week. Does anyone have an interesting topic?

That circle is a square.

First thing's first:

Good!  Now that that's out of the way, we can begin.  Begin what, you might ask?  Begin to be, of course.
I attended the Autumnal Equinox Starlight Walking Tour of Mount Oread at a pesky hour of 5 a.m. on Wednesday morn.  Quite intriguing I must say.  Every building has a purpose for the way it is built, surprisingly.  Also, some of the buildings line up to point to the north star.  Cool stuff!  Unfortunately, I only made it till 6:30 before my body realized that 3 hours of sleep was most definitely not enough to suffice.  The struggle lasted another few minutes, but in the end, sleep won.  Darn the eternal Z's of slumber.  One extremely interesting quote that the Professor Emeritus Ted Johnson had, however, was this: "If we are busy, we cannot learn. We come to the University to learn, and this cannot be done if we are busy."  That was most likely the sole reason I stuck around for as long as I did, waging apocalypses against the steady onslaught of sleep-deprived symptoms.
Sophomore year has been extremely busy. That's why I believe I haven't learned much, except how to attempt to combat business. It's a difficult task, for sure, but no more difficult than wrestling that psycho-chick girlfriend away from your best female friend of 11 years (not a personal example, just sayin').
Another good question for y'all: What gets done between the hours of 6 and 9?  Absolutely nothing.  That's what, and I can never seem to figure out why. Time in the Collegiate world hath designated that these hours be used for nothing more than non-productive tasks, such as buying starch in fruitless hopes that I will one day learn how to iron a shirt. Probably not happening, but at least I have starch.
I hope everyone has been tending to their personal matters well, for if not, I fear the worst is yet to come.

what is the geometry of NO3-

Apologies, all, for not doing my civil duty and updating y'all on the frivolousness of my life. First thing's first. School. It started! About a month ago, actually. I know, I know, I should've been updating quite a bit since then, SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED! Not really. My knee hurts when I run, so I don't run. Food keeps getting more and more succulent, so I keep eating more and more of it. School involves so much reading I almost can't ingest enough coffee to keep up with it.
Speaking of coffee, I brought some back with me after going home for Labor Day! It's Hawaiian, for those of you anxious to know, vanilla macadamia nut, for those of you bursting at the seams to get even an inkling of detail of my life. I wasn't that interested, but the coffee on the other hand...I've finally accepted drinking it plain and black. I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing, but I'm pretty sure this is headed in a southern direction.
I also brought back two additional aprons to spice up the domain I call the Kitchen. One of them has a typical 50's family and denotes "Let's have a Barbeque!" Because you know that you're just bursting to have a barbeque with only one other couple where the women gossip and you slave under the fire and flames of a brick grill to perfect that perfect piece of meat that nobody will appreciate. Why on earth aren't your talents APPRECIATED?! I couldn't tell you, maybe you should see a psychiatrist. The other apron was my father's, and it is a McDonald's apron from when he worked there. Hopefully my strategic placement will encourage all who glimpse upon its harrowing crimson color can appreciate the fact that they are in college for a reason besides downing as much suds as a dishwasher while simultaneously concocting street pizza every step of the way. If that didn't make sense to you, don't worry. It made even less sense to me.
The ladies at our sister hall are extremely beautiful. There, I said it. They brought in approximately 25 new recruits this year and it did nothing but embellish the bouquet of beauty that was bursting forth from that direction. Overzealous? Ask General Patton. I don't think he'd say it is, he won a war for crying out loud.
I got a whole bunch of music the other day, it's pretty good stuff. Amazon has a lot of great free music for all of you "hipsters" who think paying for music isn't "cool". I also participated in a dance party the other day. Let's just say that my Gingerfriend can dance.
I've also enjoyed cooking with some of the lovely ladies of Sellards of late. Never a dull moment over there, that's for sure. I made some peanut butter and jelly mini-pies today, they turned out heavenly. You'll have to try one! What is your favorite dessert? Tell me! I hope everything is going well in all of your lives, and I'll promise to post more often now that I'm finally settled in!
I leave you all with this picture of bliss.

Dog Days of Summer

We put the dog down today. It's amazing that someone could miss something that so frequently and delicately placed butt nuggets so tenderly around the house almost daily could be missed, but the joy he brought everyone in the family far outweighed those small trifles of trouble.
     The shadowing has been going well. There was a casting session this week where we learned how to put on casts, and afterward it looked like the remains of a zombie movie, with blue arms and legs strewn everywhere. Quite the sight to see.
     Next week the family is traversing to Branson, MO. If there is anything exciting or worth doing there, I'd like to know, because I've been trying to hunt it out for quite some time now, and still haven't been able to locate it.

The count of the 8-ball digital egg.

     The title was an incomprehensible jumble of thoughts that have been rambling around in my brain for the past several seconds. Quite a lengthy amount of time if you ask me. Do you ever get those grand feelings of becoming a great and learned scholar, whose book repertoire extends farther than one can throw a frisbee? Me too, so that's why I decided to start off this grand collection of knowledge with a book called The Count of Monte Cristo (Penguin Classics). Let me tell you, I almost didn't make it through the introduction, which was at least 15 pages. Kind of off-putting if you ask me, but I guess they figure they can do that if they've got you locked into a 1200 page book. They're just sitting around the table saying, "What the heck, why don't we go for the Pulitzer in writing introductions? I'm sure if it isn't a category, it will be after this intro!" Those meddling kids.
     I'm going to attempt a grand facelift of sorts today, I'm going to restore the patchwork that is our yard to its former glory. Well, it didn't really have a former glory of sorts, it was always in quite a shoddy condition. I guess hitting golf balls everyday for some 5 solid years does indeed have detrimental effects, and not the contrary, which is what I presumed, because every time I traversed to the golf course and hit several divots, the grass seemed to magically get better! Or could that have just been some actual funding taking place? Who knows, I digress.
     My shadowing has been going quite splendid in the realm of doctor-hood. I've seen some interesting cases and had the pleasure of seeing how this great process of healthcare unfolds. One thing I must say however, is that it seems like every person and their second cousin believes that everything can magically be solved by some sort of pain pill. This is indeed, not the case! Maybe, just maybe, if one were to remove one's self from a strategic position in front of the television and engage in such activities outside that one so passionately devotes time to watching inside, something could come of it! Preposterous to think, I know, but it just might WORK! Get out there people, and save yourself... FROM YOURSELF!!! (Insert dark and ominous music here).
     Another thing. Why must people find it necessary to procure such hideous grammar in the realm of the Internets, and more importantly, Facebook? It seems like a rampant brothel of bad sentences, where possessives and punctuation went on strike, and correct usage and spelling both committed suicide, but not before flipping the bird to The Penguin Handbook (MLA Update) (Paperbound)! It's an art, I'd say, to be that stupid when posting things that all the world can see. I've posted some examples on my status in recent times, and look for more examples as I uncover them. Well, there's not much to uncover, they are pretty blatantly revolting. I hope all is well in your life, for to wish harm upon you would obviously mean a riot with upwards of 10 people!

Picture Above: The normal flow of grammar on top,

Facebook's usual grammar flow on bottom. 

Note: Sad Face at end of Facebook flow.

I don't even know what to think anymore.

I work for a week and a half staining a deck, suffering multiple injuries to my ego, coming out just shy of a quarter g, and a friend tells me he's made 300 skinny jeans laying carpet in one day. What kind of society is this?! I certainly don't know.
     I still want to hear feedback on my seemingly philosophical question: What if parents/society put as much emphasis on learning as they did on sports? Hit me up in the comments to get your insight.
     So for the past month or so I've been wielding the HTC Evo 4G. For those of you not in the know, it's pretty much the biggest geek porn known to mankind. It's the iPhone for cool people, those who aren't hipsters. This bad boy is awesome, but it has yet to accomplish the one thing I unleashed it to do: pick up chicks. Just goes to show you that women won't rush to devoid their bodies of clothing at the sight of German Engineering, or will they? Makes me rather just avoid the whole thing and win them over with my amazingly good looks. Oh, wait, the 50 pounds of pasta I had for dinner have something to say about that.
     What are all of my awesome readers up to? Let me know, give me a sign that my life isn't completely worthless, or is it?

You have her snout.

So for the past week and a half, my next handyman job has ensconced the throes of everyday life for me. I have absolutely no idea whether that actually made any sense, I've been staining a wraparound deck for the past fortnight. It has been sucking the life-force  out of my labor-driven soul, and leaving me as nothing more than an obese-wielding soul.
     Speaking of China, I biked out to Kanopolis the other day, which is about 20 excruciating miles out of the way of my home, which is where I was trying to get to after visiting the local Doll-collectors anonymous meeting. Needless to say, when I stopped in at the local "Trading Post" to refill on some old-fashioned Gatorade, the cashier's mouth dropped to oblivion. I guess it's quite a sight to see a fat man make it somewhere over 10 miles by not using some form of motorized transportation! What a revelation! Needless to say, I'm not too sure how much "trading" went on at that place. It seems to me that the only thing the cashiers wanted was cold hard cash, which doesn't give you much wiggle room for bartering. At least in Mexico they'll take a lock of my hair as legal tender. All discourse aside, I submitted the "Trading Post" to the Better Business Bureau for false advertising, as well as shattered dreams.
     Recently I've been shadowing doctors to learn why and how our healthcare, which is indeed the greatest in America, is so awesome. It's been quite an experience. I would divulge, but under the Hippo Act, I'm not allowed to tell you that one child had quite an abnormal growth sticking up from its shoulders. My doc told me it was some sort of "head", whatever that is, but I'm not convinced.
     That's all for now, I'll keep you all in the know more and more, because you guys are my life! Duh!